Surgery date

Life is moving on and time is flying by these days!! Here we are at the end of July, I can’t believe its been almost 4 months since Easton was born. What a rollercoaster it has been! I wouldn’t trade it for the world!

Okay so to get up to date, Easton is still on the medicine for his reflux and still eating really well, adding calories with his formula and rice cereal in every bottle.

Last week, on Friday, we went back to Ft Worth to Dr Hubli, Easton weighed in right at 13 lbs!!! that’s 2.5 lbs in 3 weeks! I am so proud of my little guy! He’s changing so much every day, he’s a happier baby and is doing so well!

Dr Hubli was impressed with his progress, so yesterday the hospital surgery schedule department called me and we set up his lip/nose repair for August 14.

I didn’t expect it to be this soon! We honestly thought 6-8 weeks, since that is what the nurse told us, because Dr Hubli is a busy guy.

We will travel to Ft Worth on Monday the 13, and report to the hospital at 5:30 AM. His surgery time is set for 7:30 Am.

I am a terrified anxious ball of nerves. My little baby will be taken from me and when he comes back to me he will have a new face, and I’m not sure I am prepared for that.  I have a wonderful support system, but having to hand him over that morning, I know, will be that single hardest thing I have ever had to do. I fell in love with that face the second I saw it for the first time, and it will come back to me, on August 14, totally changed forever.

I can’t help but harbor some guilt; I think as a mother, I will always have that in the back of my head. Because of this cleft, he will endure pain, sure he won’t remember it, but I will, and selfishly I don’t want to. I want to take it all from him and make it disappear, pain and stress free.

Thankfully I know that God is good and He will get us all through this. Luke and I are strong and we will be strong for our sweet little Easton. He is our golden star, and I’ve never been more proud than I am when I show him off, or look at him. He is a wonderful gift from God, and God will give me the strength.

So please, pray for our sweet baby boy, that he comes out of this with the least amount of pain and discomfort possible, pray for the surgeona ndhis staff to have steady hands, pray for Luke and I to be strong.

Happier days!

SO after a week of Easton eating every hour it seemed, on his new formula & rice concotion and on medicine. He gained 14 oz in a week!!! Dr was so  happy with his progress we were hoping for 8-9 oz, but we'll take 14...he has a lot of catching up to do! We ar eup to the 11th percentile, need to get up over the 30th! I suspect when we go to Fort Worth next friday, Dr. Hubli will be very happy to see our progress!!

SO proud of our little guy! And thankful to GOD for having found out about his reflux before we had any major health issues!!

That is GOD

It is only July, but this has been one trying year for my family.

We’ve had heath scares with my Mom, before Easton was born we had some scares with his heart and kidney function and development, extended family members also had health scares. Two babies have been born; Easton has had some issues gaining weight. Before this year is over there will be surgeries and procedures. Emily had an ER visit. We have moved we had to live with my parents for a short time; I had to put Easton in daycare when I came back to work. We had a mouse infestation of our home, the first home we all had together as a family. Luke has taken a second job so we do not get to see him very often.

Emotionally I have had highs and lows; I attribute them to not only hormones but also high expectations and disappointment. Things have not turned out the way I thought they would. People have not reacted or behaved the way I expected them to.

But despite all the bad, the negative, the disappointment, the fear, the worries one thing has changed in me. I have gained more FAITH than I have ever had before. God hears me, he listens and he answers. He may not always give me the answer that I want, but HE does answer me and HE knows what is best for me. I know that at the end of the day, these health scares were just that, scares, we are all still here and healthy. I see my son every morning smiling at me as I get him ready for the day, and when I pick him up in the afternoons, he smiles at me. I feel an unconditional love for him unlike anything I’ve ever felt before, and I know that is GOD. I may not see my husband much, 5 days a week, but he crawls in bed next to me every night, and there is a deep, passionate love between us that we share, that allows us to get through these long days where he is working so hard and I am taking care of Easton. That is GOD.

In the midst of my despair, when I felt helpless, when Luke and I didn’t know how to handle the idea that our son would have something “wrong” with him, GOD lead us to the right resources. I found a support group online, a group of mostly women, all mothers, who have helped me so much, and in helping me, have helped Luke. They have, even though I have never and may never meet them in person, become like family. That is GOD. My parents are amazing, they took us in and helped us out when we were desperate without issue, because they love us. That is GOD

My faith has grown so much in these last few months. I never knew that becoming a mother could be such a spiritual thing. I never knew how strong my faith could be, I never knew how my opinions and beliefs could change, for the better, just by becoming a mother. I guess I should have known, but I don’t think you can know that until it happens. That is GOD. I want to be better, live better, be more Christ-like, for my son.

I thank God everyday for this transformation that he is leading me through. I thank GOD every day for the people he has blessed me with in my life and for this journey. We have a lot more obstacles to overcome, but I know that GOD has our back.

It’s been a crazy 6+  months, and the next will be just as crazy, I suspect. Thank you GOD for these crazy times, for they show me, more than any other time, just how AWESOME YOU are!

Bittersweet

Two years ago Luke and I moved in to apartment 705. We were so excited and proud to be moving in to "our" own place, it had two bathrooms and two bed rooms, and "SO MUCH storage". Luke proposed to me in the living room of that apartment, we planned our wedding in that apartment, we danced in the living room, came home from our honeymoon as a married couple to that apartment, found out we were expecting in that apartment, and brought Easton home to our first home in that apartment. It represented so much, our decisions as a couple, and as a family. It was OUR first place, it was not much, just a small little apartment, but it was ours. Today I hate it, its covered in mouse feces and stinks, the management has treated us so badly in the last few months and we have found a new place to rent, it is smaller, but it will be wonderful, because it will be new and it will be a place we can make our own, again.
Its a bittersweet thing, to move to a new place, two years ago I loved that apartment....today I hate it. I hope we can fill the new place with as many and more loving memories as we did apartment 705.

This week we take Easton to an appointment at Cooks in Fort Worth. We will set a date, at this appointment, for his first cleft repair surgery. ANother bittersweet moment. I love his face, his lip, the fact that he can move his little lip in two directions. I hate that he has to endure any pain, that his face has to change, I pray that the change is ONLY a physical one and that his little sweet personality stays in tact.
When we first found out about his cleft lip/palate, we were so afraid of what was to come. What would he look like, would he be able to eat, how many surgeries would he have to go through etc....And now that the ball has begun to roll, we know surgery is in our near future and I pray that I am woman enough and a good enough Mother that I can handle it and be strong for Easton. Its a bittersweet thing, we are changing this precious face that God gave our sweet boy, changing it so that he can be given the chance to live a normal life, be able to eat and function normally, but we love this sweet face. Its an emotional roller coaster that I think we are all struggling with, but I know God is with us and will guide us.

It has been a trying time for our family, but we are stronger than ever, and I look forward to the future!

Life goes on...

Well we have passed the 2 month mark as new parents! Easton will be 10 weeks old tomorrow, I cannot believe the time has flown by so quickly!

It’s not been the easiest 10 weeks but we have survived and Easton is thriving! He weighed in at 10lba 10 oz at his 2 month appointment and the Drs are very pleased with his progress! He is smiling and cooing more and more now and is starting to be so much fun! He changes daily, I can’t believe how different he looks from day to day, and we are just totally smitten with him.

A lot has happened in the last 10 weeks. We have moved out of our apartment and in with my parents for a while, there was a health concern in the apartment and management did not react the way they should have so we put our intent to vacate in and are in the process of moving out. Mom has had a few health scares, she was in the hospital the night after I got out of the hospital and though she’s not totally out of the woods, things are better and she is receiving great care. Meanwhile I have started back to work and am missing my boy terribly, I know I am doing the best I can to help support my family, but it is really hard to let someone else care for my baby.

ON June 27 we will return to Fort Worth to Cooks Children’s Hospital and at that appointment we will schedule Easton’s first repair. We’re looking at the end of July first of August for the lip/nose repair. It makes me really nervous to think about it, I will miss that sweet up turned lip. So I plan to take a million pictures between now and then.

Life goes on, that’s something we are learning, Life goes on no matter what we are dealing with personally, we can’t let our guard down for long or we might get run over!

God has blessed us tremendously and I thank Him every day for everything we have, even if it is not the way we expected or planned for it to be, its beautiful.

Three weeks into parenthood

Well we have survived the first three weeks of parenthood, and I'd be lying if I said it has been an easy transition.
I am getting stronger every day, I still have some discomfort and it hurts to sneeze or laugh really hard :) but nothing major. Easton is just beginning to show his little personality and he is definitely showing his temper and attitude. (Must get that from his Daddy)
Dad and I are starting to get used to the lack of sleep, (OH what I wouldnt do for a full 8 hours of sleep), and we are starting to learn how to be parents. We thought we were ready, and I thought I would catch on fast, but its not been nearly as easy as I thought it would be. We're learning and it is getting easier.
We are incredibly blessed with Easton, he is the light of our lives, and what an amazing little miracle he is. He makes me smile every day, sometimes I cry when he is crying :) but Im so proud to have brought him in to this world.
Meanwhile our family has endured some health issues and other trials lately. Mostly I am finding out how strong we all are, how muchI appreciate each member of my family and jsut how much love I feel for them. God is being kind to us, and continues to bless us.

The days that changed our lives forever

Luke and I were married on March 19, 2011. On our honeymoon I decided I was so sick of the birth control I was on and stopped taking it, we decided that if it was God’s will for us to have a baby then we would have a baby but that we’d also just be careful and not plan it but not prevent it either.

A week before my 28^th Birthday I told Luke there were weird things going on inside my body, I was way more exhausted than usual, there were some odd little pains in my lower abdomen, and overall I just felt strange.

On Friday July 29^th I took a pregnancy test and it was negative, I took another on July 30, my birthday I took another, negative. The morning of July 31 I took one first thing, around 7 AM and it was positive, the second line was SO faint, that Luke definitely didn’t believe it and he went to the store and bought another box of tests. I took probably 5 tests, both the lines and digital and my suspicions were confirmed, we were most definitely pregnant.

The next few months flew by fast and furious I started a new job in August, and we had to wait until September before we could go to the OBGYN and get a confirmation.

We did just that, went to the Dr in September, and for the first time we saw this little ball of cells and a heartbeat that was almost 10 weeks old and the sound of that heart beat was the most amazing sound I’d ever heard up until that point in my life. We were so proud, terrified, but proud.

At 16 weeks we chose to have an elective ultra sound to determine the sex of the baby, and found out we were having a sweet boy. Immediately we narrowed down the names we liked and we decided on Easton Landry, it was actually a pretty easy decision once we knew he was a boy.

At 21 weeks we went in for an anatomy ultra sound to measure all of his bones and organs and take a good look at the babys physical development. We were so excited to see him we were almost giddy going in to that appointment, I just knew they were going to tell us he was perfect and amazing and wonderful and beautiful. Instead we were told the baby has a cleft lip, possible palate, his kidneys seemed to be enlarged and that his heart had a spot on it. I panicked. My blood pressure shot through the roof and the Dr sent me home to rest. I went home and I bawled, I never ever ever expected to be told my baby would have something “Wrong” with him. We scheduled another Ultra sound a couple of weeks later to look at his heart & kidneys again. When we went in for that ultra sound there were no changes so we were referred to a Perinatologist for further assessments of the babies development.

We went in for an appointment with the specialists and they confirmed that we had a cleft lip & palate, his heart did have an echo but they were not at all worried about his kidneys which gave us a little relief. At this point we scheduled an appointment with a group of fetal heart specialists who come to town once a month. When we had that heart scan, the specialists found NOTHING abnormal with his heart, and I never ever ever have felt the amazing sense of relief like I did that day.

Now we just could focus on the cleft. In February we traveled to Fort Worth and met with the craniofacial surgeon at Cooks childrens hospital who we have decided will work on Easton once he has his surgeries, and we got the info we needed from him.

The whole pregnancy we watched and monitored my blood pressure, and how thankful we are that it never got in to high, dangerous levels, it stayed elevated but never shot up enough to be hospitalized for.

I never went a day with out worrying about his cleft, what obstacles he would have to overcome, crying over why our baby has to have this “abnormality”, what did I do wrong to cause this? Will people judge him for this? Will he be able to eat or talk….I cant tell you how many nights I cried and cried and Luke so lovingly held my hand and promised me it will be ok.

In the last month of my pregnancy I seemed to be gaining weight like crazy, and my tummy was getting larger and larger. My dr decided to have one last sonogram to get an estimate on his size, and that confirmed what we already knew, he was going to be a big baby. At this time we decided with the Dr to schedule a C-section and not attempt a natural birth.

On April 4, 2012 at 10AM we traveled across the street to the hospital to be admitted. They immediately took me in to a room and got me in a gown and started Ivs on me. I was asked a MILLION questions while they prepped my body to go in to the OR. Luke was getting dressed in his scrubs and my family and Lukes mom were all there waiting to meet the newest member.

At about 12:15 I walked across the hall to the OR and Luke waited in the hallway while they gave me a spinal and got me numb and got the sheet up. They brought Luke in, there were so many ppl in that room, and I knew they were working on me as I listened to my Dr talk to a medical student who was observing, I suddenly hear my Dr say “Get Dad” and they stood Luke up so he could watch them pull Easton out of my tummy and into the world. Immediately I heard him cry and a wave of relief and love rushed over me and I started crying. It was the most amazing sound I’ve ever heard. I couldn’t see Luke face but I imagine he was grinning bigger than he ever has. All I heard was the nurses/doctors say “he is such a big boy” and “Such good color” My OB told me “Katie he has the cleft, but he looks real good”.

The pediatrician brought him over wrapped in a blanket, told me briefly he looks really good, the cleft looks pretty severe but he looks healthy, I kissed him and they whisked him and Luke away to the nursery.

I was in recovery for a few hours, they brought Luke in after a while and he told me how beautiful Easton was, and how wonderful he is, and how all the family cried when the nurses held him up in the nursery for everyone to see.

I was taken to my room around 2:30-3:00 in the afternoon to relax, and my family was all there. I didn’t get to see Easton until they brought him to me at 7:30 PM. He is the most beautiful, incredible little angel I’ve ever seen. I can’t believe that God blessed me to be the mother to this amazing creature.

I don’t even see his cleft. I was so concerned before he was born that I would see it and be upset by it, I don’t even see it, he’s so beautiful and perfect. There are NO imperfections or abnormalities on him, he is not capable of being abnormal or imperfect. Its amazing how God shows his miracles. Easton is definitely our little miracle baby, he is perfect and amazing, and in his own little way has already touched so many peoples lives.

Easton Landry Ellis
Born April 4, 2012
8lb 15oz
20 inches long

Almost there! Updates

I am 38 weeks and 1 day pregnant today! Part of me can't believe we are already this far along, but a BIG part of me feels like Ive been pregnant for years! lol

We had our 38 week appointment and a growth ultrasound this morning to get a better idea on how big Mr Easton is, because we KNOW he is a big boy. We were right, the ultrasound shows him to be 8lb 14 oz today, with a 15% difference factor he could actually be bigger than that. With that information we had a long talk with our Dr and decided the best course of action is to go ahead and schedule a C-Section instead of an induction.
So even though this is not the ideal situation, this is not exactly what we wanted, we know it is the safest way to get Easton here safely without causing him any distress. Most important thing to us is that he is healthy and safe.

SO, April 4th at 5:00 PM I will go in to the OR and we will have Easton here shortly after!!
As always, we appreciate prayers!! We are so excited to get him here and ready to snuggle with our little chunky monkey!

37weeks and FULL TERM!

Well yesterday I went to my 37 week appointment and lo and behold we're making progress! Baby may make his way out on his own afterall!!
BUT if he doesnt, which the Dr said it is totally possible for him to come naturally in the next 10 days, but if he does not we have a scheduled induction for April 4 which is when I will be 39 weeks!
WHOA NELLY! Suddenly the "bigness" of it all hit! We're REALLY having this baby, Im not going to be pregnant forever! Easton IS going to be here at some point, whether on his own or if we have to nudge him a little :)
We still have a sonogram scheduled for the 29th to see how big he is, Dr is slightly concerned with his size, hoping he is not too big, but we're praying that I can deliver naturally and that no C-Section will be needed!

Meanwhile we pretty much have everything we NEED for his arrival, its just a matter of getting everything put together, house cleaned, car cleaned out, practice with the car seat a little (hehe) and groceries bought for the days following our return from the hospital. So looks like we have a busy weekend ahead of us because we really only have this weekend, because we dont know wht could happen next week!

Luke and I are doing ok, scared and overwhelmed a little, but not too much. I think its just normal jitters. Emotionally we're so ready to see our little angels face and cuddle him and love on him.

Thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers through this pregnancy. Please continue to pray that delivery is smooth and everything and everyone is healthy and happy :)

36 weeks

This week I will be 36 weeks pregnant! Where has the time gone? In one week we will be considered full term! wow!!

Well on March 2 Luke and I trekked to Fort Worth on a really quick trip to meet with the Craniofacial team at Cooks Childrens who will work on Easton. We got a lot of information from the surgeon on what he does, ant a time frame.
We expect, as long as he is eating good and gaining weight normally to have his lip/nose repaird between months 3-5 and then the palate repair will take place between months 8-12, again this all depends on his weight gain, how well he is eating, and his overall health.
We will call the surgeon when Easton is born and set up an appointment for him to see him within 3 weeks, and he'll evaluate the severity of Eastons cleft and we can meet with feeding specialists if we're having any trouble.
We really really liked the surgeon, he was ver very knowledgable and very nice and understanding. He was extremely personable and it helps to know that this is what he specializes in and does them all the time. He will also be our hub for any other specialists we might need down the line, speech therapists,  orthodontists whatever we night need he will be the connection and the way we get into those specialists. He told us that it is important we have good communication because we will be a "family" Until Easton becomes an adult, seeing as how we do not know the complications that might arise. Plus he warned us that other surgeries could be necessary down the line too as his face grows etc....
Anyway I think Luke and I both rested a little easier after meeting with him and getting all the info we did from him.

This week I go to my 36 week appt and will go ever wednesday until he is here!! Crossing our fingers its soon! THis mama is getting pretty miserable!!