Monday, March 17, 2014

Living my Testimony

A few weeks ago in church our Pastor was talking about our Spiritual gifts. Something that was given to us, by God, that makes us an individual. Sometimes its an obvious talent, the gift of song, artistry, speaking, teaching….sometimes it is not so obvious and we have to search for it. Wait for it. Ive spent the last couple of weeks wracking my brain. What is MY Spiritual talent?! What did God put here to do? Im not good at anything. The few things I have been “Good” at, playing the clarinet, writing research papers in college…those things I worked hard for, they didn’t come easily, they weren’t natural talents, they’re things I had to work for to be average. So I posted on facebook and everyone weighed in…that’s great but nothing really stuck. My whole life I have listened to people give their testimony, in Church, on tv, in seminars, wherever…that life changing moment when they turned to God and became a Christian. That life changing, heart opening moment when it all just MADE sense. I don’t have that moment. Im not a “rags to riches” story. Im just an average girl, who grew up in a good, loving, middle class family in a small town. Ive always believed in God, Ive always been nice to people, Ive always played by the rules. So I have no life altering testimonial….and I don’t know what my spiritual gifts are. Until now. Suddenly I have had one of those life changing moments. Im living my testimony NOW. My spiritual gifts are coming out NOW. 2 years ago I was pregnant, scared, worried, stressed out and beyond tired. I was a newly wed, no where near prepared for a new baby. Had NO idea what we were going to do or how we would afford this. And then I had Easton. It was a hard first few months. We had no money, no idea how to feed this baby who needed extra care, no idea why he was projectile vomiting and screaming all the time. But we got through it. When Easton was 1 year old we started going to church, we wanted to find a church we enjoyed, were comfortable in, and a few months later we were baptized in that church. Meanwhile I share Easton with the world. I will tell our story to anyone who will listen. I will show his pictures and talk about his reflux, his special needs bottles, his surgeries, the endless breathing treatments, the speech issues and feeding issues. I will share him with everyone. He is PURE Joy. THIS Is my testimony. THIS is my Spiritual gift. I was given the gift of gab…Im not joking. I was given the gift to speak, to tell, to share. I was Given Easton to change, to share and to love! Im closer to God now than Ive ever been, and I will continue to grow with Him. I have friends I Never would have met in a million years, all because of Easton. I can help people who are going through the same things, I can share our story and offer advice. Someday, when he understands, I will share it with Easton. I will tell him God gave him to us so that we could change people. So that we could help people. So that our hearts would soften and would open and hopefully others would as well. It might not be as interesting and earth shattering as a drug addict from the streets who comes to Jesus and changes his life. But it’s just as powerful. Because we all lead to the same prize, to JESUS. I hope we make HIM proud. I hope I can bring all the Glory to God and use this gift in the most powerful way possible. I pray that my heart is open to Gods words and guidance. “But when I hear You whisper, "Child lift up your head" I remember, oh God, You're not done with me yet I am redeemed, You set me free..”