Yesterday I had an “episode”, for the second day in a row the song “Elizabeth”-The Statler Brothers, was playing when I walked into my home. See we play music to help mute outside noise so Alli wont bark while we’re bother gone, two days in a row at two totally different times of the day, “Elizabeth” was playing. And yesterday it struck me, something I know, I’ve been used to for a long time - that I don’t have grandparents left here on earth. This is not something I have spent a lot of time contemplating or crying over, its part of life, my parents were both the youngest, and they didn’t have me till they were up in their 30’s so by the time I came around my grandfathers had both passed and my grand mothers were up in age. I am so lucky and grateful that I had them here as long as I did! Mamah Mobley passed away when I was 14, so I had many years with her, lots of my favorite memories were at her house. My Mamah Maberry passed away when I was 18. I have many many memories of her as well. But there are pivotal moments in a persons life when you become more aware than ever that those people are no longer with us here. I heard “Elizabeth” two days in a row, after years of having not heard it at all, and im suddenly VERY aware that I will have no grandparents at my wedding. No grandparents to be ushered in and sat while some special song plays. I know in spirit they’ll be there, but there is a small void, a day which I wish I could share with them, a special moment with grand mothers that brides have, I wont have that. So amongst all the excitement and planning and joy there is a little selfish sadness. But I know they’re smiling on us, and will be with us there that day.
On a whole other note, well still on wedding notes, I am so annoyed with people thinking that my wedding should revolve around them. I will only have 3 bridesmaids, my sister and my two closest friends, the 3 people I Have always known would be standing by me, I refuse to be a bride who asks everyone they know to be a bridesmaid for the sake of evening it out or just to have a large bridal party. Please do not be offended that you weren’t asked. The date we chose, works for US. It’s a perfect time away, not too far, and yet far enough to get the wedding planned with minimal stress. The date, whether you can or cannot come, was not set so that someone couldn’t come; it was not any sort of vendetta against people we don’t want there. On that same note we are choosing to be married in San Angelo, that was a personal choice, the place is PERFECT for the type of wedding we want, not to mention cost efficient, beautiful and fits us perfectly. Having the wedding out of town has NOTHING to do with anything but just that.
Ending on a good note we are trucking along with the planning, as you probably know the date is SET, engagement photos have been taken, dress has been purchased, we began buying decorations and centerpieces and are just having a lot of fun! We are sublimely happy and and so so so thankful for all the support from our families and friends, especially my family in Midland who is just going along with everything I say, want, every Idea I have and running with it! You’re all so amazing!
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