Surgery date

Life is moving on and time is flying by these days!! Here we are at the end of July, I can’t believe its been almost 4 months since Easton was born. What a rollercoaster it has been! I wouldn’t trade it for the world!

Okay so to get up to date, Easton is still on the medicine for his reflux and still eating really well, adding calories with his formula and rice cereal in every bottle.

Last week, on Friday, we went back to Ft Worth to Dr Hubli, Easton weighed in right at 13 lbs!!! that’s 2.5 lbs in 3 weeks! I am so proud of my little guy! He’s changing so much every day, he’s a happier baby and is doing so well!

Dr Hubli was impressed with his progress, so yesterday the hospital surgery schedule department called me and we set up his lip/nose repair for August 14.

I didn’t expect it to be this soon! We honestly thought 6-8 weeks, since that is what the nurse told us, because Dr Hubli is a busy guy.

We will travel to Ft Worth on Monday the 13, and report to the hospital at 5:30 AM. His surgery time is set for 7:30 Am.

I am a terrified anxious ball of nerves. My little baby will be taken from me and when he comes back to me he will have a new face, and I’m not sure I am prepared for that.  I have a wonderful support system, but having to hand him over that morning, I know, will be that single hardest thing I have ever had to do. I fell in love with that face the second I saw it for the first time, and it will come back to me, on August 14, totally changed forever.

I can’t help but harbor some guilt; I think as a mother, I will always have that in the back of my head. Because of this cleft, he will endure pain, sure he won’t remember it, but I will, and selfishly I don’t want to. I want to take it all from him and make it disappear, pain and stress free.

Thankfully I know that God is good and He will get us all through this. Luke and I are strong and we will be strong for our sweet little Easton. He is our golden star, and I’ve never been more proud than I am when I show him off, or look at him. He is a wonderful gift from God, and God will give me the strength.

So please, pray for our sweet baby boy, that he comes out of this with the least amount of pain and discomfort possible, pray for the surgeona ndhis staff to have steady hands, pray for Luke and I to be strong.

Happier days!

SO after a week of Easton eating every hour it seemed, on his new formula & rice concotion and on medicine. He gained 14 oz in a week!!! Dr was so  happy with his progress we were hoping for 8-9 oz, but we'll take 14...he has a lot of catching up to do! We ar eup to the 11th percentile, need to get up over the 30th! I suspect when we go to Fort Worth next friday, Dr. Hubli will be very happy to see our progress!!

SO proud of our little guy! And thankful to GOD for having found out about his reflux before we had any major health issues!!

That is GOD

It is only July, but this has been one trying year for my family.

We’ve had heath scares with my Mom, before Easton was born we had some scares with his heart and kidney function and development, extended family members also had health scares. Two babies have been born; Easton has had some issues gaining weight. Before this year is over there will be surgeries and procedures. Emily had an ER visit. We have moved we had to live with my parents for a short time; I had to put Easton in daycare when I came back to work. We had a mouse infestation of our home, the first home we all had together as a family. Luke has taken a second job so we do not get to see him very often.

Emotionally I have had highs and lows; I attribute them to not only hormones but also high expectations and disappointment. Things have not turned out the way I thought they would. People have not reacted or behaved the way I expected them to.

But despite all the bad, the negative, the disappointment, the fear, the worries one thing has changed in me. I have gained more FAITH than I have ever had before. God hears me, he listens and he answers. He may not always give me the answer that I want, but HE does answer me and HE knows what is best for me. I know that at the end of the day, these health scares were just that, scares, we are all still here and healthy. I see my son every morning smiling at me as I get him ready for the day, and when I pick him up in the afternoons, he smiles at me. I feel an unconditional love for him unlike anything I’ve ever felt before, and I know that is GOD. I may not see my husband much, 5 days a week, but he crawls in bed next to me every night, and there is a deep, passionate love between us that we share, that allows us to get through these long days where he is working so hard and I am taking care of Easton. That is GOD.

In the midst of my despair, when I felt helpless, when Luke and I didn’t know how to handle the idea that our son would have something “wrong” with him, GOD lead us to the right resources. I found a support group online, a group of mostly women, all mothers, who have helped me so much, and in helping me, have helped Luke. They have, even though I have never and may never meet them in person, become like family. That is GOD. My parents are amazing, they took us in and helped us out when we were desperate without issue, because they love us. That is GOD

My faith has grown so much in these last few months. I never knew that becoming a mother could be such a spiritual thing. I never knew how strong my faith could be, I never knew how my opinions and beliefs could change, for the better, just by becoming a mother. I guess I should have known, but I don’t think you can know that until it happens. That is GOD. I want to be better, live better, be more Christ-like, for my son.

I thank God everyday for this transformation that he is leading me through. I thank GOD every day for the people he has blessed me with in my life and for this journey. We have a lot more obstacles to overcome, but I know that GOD has our back.

It’s been a crazy 6+  months, and the next will be just as crazy, I suspect. Thank you GOD for these crazy times, for they show me, more than any other time, just how AWESOME YOU are!