The Big Picture

I read something this morning that inspired me to tell a story.
We all know I tend to ramble, and my writing is never organized so bare with me, if you're reading ;)

When I was in 3rd grade, it was my first year in GT(Gifted-Talented) class. I was chubby, just got big dorky glasses, was in a classroom with the "Smart" kids, who had been in the same class together since 1st grade, I was an outcast, as I was just as smart as the other kids, I wasn't quite up to where most of them were either. I was a nervous wreck. I threw up probably 2-3 times a month in class (from nerves) and was sent home. Everytime I'd get home and was perfectly fine, and no I still dont know how to make myself throw up :)
I didnt understand long division. We had a long division competition and I was so terrified of being the only kid in class who didnt get it, my Daddy stayed up late with me, and on the chalk board in my bedroom, worked with me until I undertood enough to get through the competition.
I didnt have any friends in that class really, we went on school field trips a lot, and my Mom was really sick that year and never was able to go and I never had any friends to talk to or sit ont he bus with.
I remember one kid kicked a soccer ball at me and it hit me in the head and as the teacher took me to the school nurse a couple of boys laughed.
I remember being the only kid in that class who did not get the "Exceptional" rating on the TAAS test, every kid in my class was called on stage, during an all school assembly, to get their "Exceptional" ribbons, and my Teacher moving to sit next to me, so that I wasnt all by myself on the row of chairs in the auditorium.
Well one weekend a girl in class, a "popular" girl, was having a slumber party. I was so excited, I think for once I felt like I was part of the group. Mom let me pick out new pajama's (Beauty & the beast I believe), we were all invited a week in advance. That friday morning, the girls Mom brought her in to class and as I walked up she (the mom) told me that the party was cancelled. Ok, no big deal. I went home after school and around supper time a girl who was my friend called and asked why I was not there.
The party had not, in fact, been cancelled. I had just been uninvited. Not by the girl, directly (Although I am sure she is the one who said she didnt want me there) but by the MOTHER.
Now I am sure, there was at least one other little girl that I remember in that class that was a bit of an outcast, and she was my friend, we spent the night with each other occasionally. And I wish My mom and I had thought to call her that night. I was devastated and embarressed, but what I remember most was my mom. She took me to the store (Alco haha) and let me pick out a game, we watched a movie, ate popcorn and played the game (I can see the game it has a caterpillar, though I can't recall the name or premise) and it was a fun night, despite my devastation.
I got through that year, I was probably known to many as the fat girl who puked a lot. (ha!)
But I got through, made all A's and the next year was better. . It was NOT a fun year at all, I was unhappy in school all year. And it wasnt the last time I was bullied or the last time people were mean to me. In fact in 5th grade I spent the year trying to run from a very mean girl.  But it never brought me down. I stayed happy, I stayed talkative, I still laughed and played and did the best I could in school.

It was a defining moment in my life, but not in a negative way. It showed me, maybe for the first time in my 8 years, that not everyone is nice and not everyone will like me.  I never did anything mean to that girl or her Mom to make them not like me, they just didnt. And that is ok.
Sometimes I still struggle with why people dont like me, or are not nice to me, (Of my family etc...) but I know deep down, they dont have to, and if I need to, I can go have my Mama reassure me that I am perfect, in her eyes and in God's eyes, and now my husband and baby boys eyes too :)