Happiness

Happiness is something that I've had the majority of my life. I have had moment and days of dispair or sadness or fear but for the most part, most of my life has been happy.
I define happiness as a peace within your soul.
No one can make you happy.
Its not a person, or a car, or a job, or a house or property or town that makes you truly happy.
Those things can ADD to your happiness, but to have true peace and happiness it comes from with in. And once you find that peace, those other contributions begin to fall in to place.
A few years ago, When I met Luke, things had just begun to fall in to place, I had come to a sense of peace in my soul and in my heart. I had an "awakening" moment with God. A moment where I felt a lot of anxiety and fear and anger and sadness with wher emy life was in that moment, I cried out to God and suddenly felt a sense of peace. He told me, what are you anxious about? Everything is fine! You are fine!
"Be still and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10)
And in the months after that, everything was fine and great and perfect. And though we have had an uphill climb to get to where we are now, at times, it has been beautiful.

I have learned that to have the innerpeace, the inner happiness, it has NOTHING to do with the house we live in, or whether or not we own or rent. It has nothing at all to do with the town we live in, or the traffic, it has nothing to do with what we have in the bank, whether or not we live near a forest or a lake or a river.
It has everything to do with being ok with what we DO have.
What do we have? Not much
We have medical bills and credicard debt from 100 trips to Fort Worth and hospital/hotel stays.
We have very little in the bank at certain times of the month.
We have a car payment


But we also have each other.
We have a small apartment that we rent but it is shelter from the elements, it is running water and an A/C. It is a home
We have a car that gets us anywhere we need to be
We have a healthy, beautiful, amazing son
We have a deep connecting love as a married couple.
We have a support system
We have jobs and we get a pay check
We have Sweet Alli
We have a sense of humor
We have a relationship with God that grows stronger in our hearts daily
We have laughter
We have quiet nights reading
We have dinners out with my parents
We have holidays and birthday celebrations
We have food in the pantry and freezer
We have intelligence
We have a mutual love for sports
We have beautiful memories.

Why are we happy when we have so little, we dont own a home, we dont even live in a HOUSE? How can we love where we live, its dried up and hot? How is it at ALL possible that we are content with what we have? Its not because we are complacent and fearful of change.
I do not fear change. HA!
The amount of change that has happened in my life in the last 4 years should be proof of that.
I enjoy an adventure as much as anyone, but I am content with my life because I am fullfilled, I enjoy a good routine and comfort. We can alway improve things, but we are happy with what we have now!