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Luke 6

Jesus said to his disciples: "To you who hear, I say, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. Stop judging and you won't be judged. Forgive and you will be forgiven."

I'm trying Lord to be forgiving, I'm trying to love my enemies and I am trying to do good to those who have hurt me, and most of all I really honestly amd trying to stay positive and upbeat. It's one of the most difficult things I've ever tried to do. Why at this point in my life do I find it harder to be nice and fake to people than I ever have before? I'm really trying but my patience are being tested, my sanity is being tried and I feel like my overall self and peace of mind is being threatened. How much longer do I do this until I literally have a melt down and not one in private?